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Drooling on the Pillow

Friday, February 17, 2006

Unfortunate Presidential Hair Stylings 

I'm off to visit my brother and his family in south-central Pennsylvania (prime quail-hunting territory) for the long weekend so whether you honor James K. Polk or Chester B. Arthur (mullet or muttonchops), enjoy it and I'll see you Sunday or so.
Posted by: Sluggo / 3:35 PM
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Johnny, I Hardly Knew Ya 


The latest kerfuffle-in-a-box at the Olympics is that Johnny Weir is taking heat from the gay community for not talking about his sexual orientation. An openly gay former skater is also criticizing the media for not, um, probing him on the issue.

Let's be real, here. If Mr. Weir had been caught with a woman, even a bobsledder, that would have been news.

He's not hiding anything. Anyone with doubts about about his orientation really ought to get out more than once a decade.

Of course it's always possible that we have a Lyle Billup situation here, but when he calls himself 'princessy' and his major problem is that his Olympic Village room is 'underdecorated', I think we can put that away.

Personally, I think it's pretty cool of him not to be bullied by the Gender Police. He's an out-there kid who's been wearing jewelry since he was six years old, but he decides what he talks about. He had a bad night last night on the ice, but he blamed no one but himself. I started off being irritated by him, as I am with all self-dramatising people. But I admire the way he handled the 'controversy' and I admire the way he dealt with his performance. Tough little dude.
Posted by: Sluggo / 12:25 PM
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Thursday, February 16, 2006

Fatwalapalooza 

Here's a site that would frost the stindeens* of many people, including our excitable friends from Sandyland. It's called "Jesus Dress Up!" and you can outfit our crucified savior in a number of snappy combinations, including scuba gear, bunny slippers and a smart little sun dress by way of cyber-fridge magnets. Sluggo is a multi-demoninational icon abuser.

* Ask Jim - PRS
Posted by: Sluggo / 2:16 PM
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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Olympics 

I like to watch ski jumping and not just in the hopes of seeing an "Agony of Defeat" moment. It's semi-old school.

They go flying down the hill and launch themselves like so many Rocky the Flying Squirrels to see who can go the furthest. The 'semi' part comes in because they judge for style points. The hell with that. Why can't they just see who can jump the furthest? If someone wants to go head first to win, let him.

Any activity where they talk about 'tricks' I'm not very interested in watching. At least ski jumpers don't do splits and flips and 'helicopters.' Half-pipe, moguls, freesyle aerials; pah.

Some of the events you can kind of kid yourself by saying, well, if I had started early enough, or if I had enough time and money I could have done that. That's why I like downhill. You watch those idiots flying down the hill at 80 mph and you're not even tempted to make a case for yourself. No way in hell. Couldn't do it. Wouldn't do it if I could.

Or the cross-country skiers going up and down hills for 18 miles. The effort is all but unimaginable. If you told me a twenty-year old Hedy Lamarr, one million dollars and a lifetime supply of White Castles was at the finish line I'd say 'Thank you. Where's the bus?'

I used to be married to a professional figure skater and I know the work and talent and dedication it takes and it takes enough of all three for me to know that if I had all the talent in the world I'd never have made it to the top. Still, I'll watch it only with a gun to my head. That's not a reflection on my ex-wife (peace be upon her), just the fact that the 'trick' aspect of it has warped what used to be a nice little semi-sport. I'd pay to watch bears ice skate, but not Sasha Cohen.

A final word on ski jumpers. Did you notice they're all 5'10", 135 pounds? And that they all look like I/T guys?
Posted by: Sluggo / 3:44 PM
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Zippo Tricks 


My cousin Scott was a super kid. He was a champion yo-yoist (yo-yoer?). He pulled me out of a creek when I was wee small and saved my life. He had a tryout with the Orioles. He could make me helpless with laughter whenever he chose.

I did my best to imitate him, but nowhere were my efforts more futile than in the yo-yo arena. I was pretty good with the little paddle connected to the little rubber ball with a rubber string. I was very good at twirling coins over my knuckles. I was world-class flipping cards into a hat. But with a yo-yo I was pathetic. Grace is already better than I ever was.

The only event I can think of where I bested my cousin was in zippo tricks. Maybe his fingers were too thick or something. Unfortunately, zippo tricks come rather late in the day when you are no longer mastering these skills out of pure fascination, but rather to be cool. By that time I could have lit a zippo with my tonsils, but everybody knew Scott was cooler.

I was never as good as these guys, though. Neither were you. They are the zippo trick gods.

Courtesy of Lileks.
Posted by: Sluggo / 11:46 AM
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I Love You 


Every good thing in my life is a direct result of a reckless and fortunate moment when I asked a Goddess for a date.

Before: a mess of frustration and disappointment, loneliness and confusion. A junkyard of wrecked love affairs and absurd choices. Gloom, doom and dreams gone boom.

After: also a mess, but a much nicer mess. Everything under "Before" except somebody loves me no matter what. And Grace.

This is for Lane.


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Posted by: Sluggo / 8:04 PM
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Washed In The Blood of the Veal 

From Mick Hartley:

Cairo: About 20,000 people converged on a south
Egypt village to be blessed by a calf born, they
believed, as God’s reply to the publication of the
Prophet Muhammad cartoons. Its skin folds were
said to have formed, “There is no God but Allah”.

As I mentioned in his comments, I live close to a small, Spanish supermarket which made the news a year or so ago for a frost-mark on their frozen foods cabinet door which put some people in mind of the Virgin Mary. People were lined up around the block for a glimpse until the market had gotten all the press they wanted and realized they weren't moving any guisantes congelado.

Of course, it's all fun and games until somebody gets their embassy torched.
Posted by: Sluggo / 4:40 PM
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Or Do Anything With John Kerry 

Get yours here.

H/T to TigerHawk.
Posted by: Sluggo / 2:47 PM
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Goose/Gander -- Both Cooked 

Hillel Halkin makes an interesting point in a column in today's New York Sun.

I don't find myself agreeing with the prime
minister of Iran about many things, but about
one thing, I believe, he is right. It is inconsistent
to claim, in the name of freedom of expression,
that a Danish newspaper has the right to publish
any cartoon of Muhammad that it wants and at
the same time to have laws, as do at least seven
Western countries, outlawing denial of the
Holocaust.

Absolutely true. One should remember, though, that Mr. Ahmadinejad's solution to this inconsistancy is to grant government the power to forbid any and all speech. I think we want to move in a different direction.

The moment you begin to get cute with the penal codes and try to criminalize unpopular attitudes, opinions and thoughts, you are bound to produce absurdities which will privilege one half of an argument, prolonging the fight and embittering the other side. It should be obvious that this isn't how it works in a free society and that the more foolish or hateful a point of view may be, the quicker fresh air will kill it off.

I don't consider myself a First Amendment absolutist, but the goalposts have been moving on this issue over the last decade or two and those whose positions represented mainstream thought on free speech 25 years ago, now may find themselves fighting off more 'enlightened' attempts to put limits on speech in the name of sensitivity and multiculturalism.

In Great Briton a law (the Religious Hatred Bill) has been passed which intended to criminalize satirical or denigrating reference to religion. It was understood to be on behalf of Briton's growing Muslim minority and was supported strongly by them. At the last moment it was rendered largely toothless by the House of Lords, but, although I'm not a weatherman, I can see which way the wind is blowing.

A closely related issue is hate crime laws which have an additional layer of absurdity in that they claim to be able to adjudicate the perpetrator's mind at the moment of the crime and levy additional penalties for bad thoughts. If we're capable of making laws this bad, how long before any group with a majority feels entitled to outlaw their opposition?
Posted by: Sluggo / 12:51 PM
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I've Always Wondered 

You scored as Serenity (Firefly). You like to live your own way and don't enjoy it when anyone but a friend tries to tell you should do different. Now if only the Reavers would quit trying to skin you.

Serenity (Firefly)

81%

Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)

75%

Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)

75%

Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)

69%

Moya (Farscape)

69%

Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)

56%

Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)

56%

SG-1 (Stargate)

50%

Enterprise D (Star Trek)

50%

Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)

38%

Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)

31%

FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files)

25%

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com


I was afraid I'd get stuck on the mission to Altair-5 in Forbidden Planet. On the other hand, Dr. Morbius' daughter Altaira was played by Anne Francis, who represented, for me, the just-shy-of-puberty ideal of the hot momma.

I think that was the reason Robbie the Robot was such a big deal back then. There was no question that something was going on between those two.

Posted by: Sluggo / 11:53 AM
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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Winter Scenes 


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The person in the first scene is happy. The person in the second scene is not happy.
Posted by: Sluggo / 3:11 PM
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