Drooling on the Pillow

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Olympics 

I like to watch ski jumping and not just in the hopes of seeing an "Agony of Defeat" moment. It's semi-old school.

They go flying down the hill and launch themselves like so many Rocky the Flying Squirrels to see who can go the furthest. The 'semi' part comes in because they judge for style points. The hell with that. Why can't they just see who can jump the furthest? If someone wants to go head first to win, let him.

Any activity where they talk about 'tricks' I'm not very interested in watching. At least ski jumpers don't do splits and flips and 'helicopters.' Half-pipe, moguls, freesyle aerials; pah.

Some of the events you can kind of kid yourself by saying, well, if I had started early enough, or if I had enough time and money I could have done that. That's why I like downhill. You watch those idiots flying down the hill at 80 mph and you're not even tempted to make a case for yourself. No way in hell. Couldn't do it. Wouldn't do it if I could.

Or the cross-country skiers going up and down hills for 18 miles. The effort is all but unimaginable. If you told me a twenty-year old Hedy Lamarr, one million dollars and a lifetime supply of White Castles was at the finish line I'd say 'Thank you. Where's the bus?'

I used to be married to a professional figure skater and I know the work and talent and dedication it takes and it takes enough of all three for me to know that if I had all the talent in the world I'd never have made it to the top. Still, I'll watch it only with a gun to my head. That's not a reflection on my ex-wife (peace be upon her), just the fact that the 'trick' aspect of it has warped what used to be a nice little semi-sport. I'd pay to watch bears ice skate, but not Sasha Cohen.

A final word on ski jumpers. Did you notice they're all 5'10", 135 pounds? And that they all look like I/T guys?
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