Drooling on the Pillow

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Ix-Nay on the Atter-Chay 

You probably know someone who has no internal editor: if it pops into their minds, it comes out their mouths. If you don't I'd be glad to give you a couple of the ones I know.

I know someone who has an even more annoying verbal compulsion. She's unable not to finish a sentence. If she's giving you information you already possess or have no need to know, or even, would really rather not know, you can't say 'I know' or 'stop' or 'shut the *&%# up or I'll yank out your tongue and tie it to your pantyhose.' Actually, you can say any of those things, but it won't stop her. She'll just talk louder and faster till she gets to the end.

You can put your fingers in your ears and shout 'Na, na, na, na, na, na, na!' She keeps talking. You can (and I have) just walk away and, as you round the corner she's calmly rattling on as if you were hanging on every word.

I figure she thinks the words she doesn't say will stay in her brain and leak out on her pillowcase at night.

No, I don't. I don't know what her problem is, but if you see my name in a headline it'll probably be because I killed her.
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