Drooling on the Pillow

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Hillary Comes Clean 

As reported in the New York Times, in a remarkably frank address to a partisan crowd at a "Women for Hillary" breakfast, Hillary Clinton explicitly confessed to many of the charges leveled against her and her husband over the years by Republican partisans. Her purplexed and stunned aides were frantically left to clean up the mess.

Her remarks touched on the nomination of extremist judges, unacceptable concessions to China and Saudi Arabia and lackluster security preparations that characterised her huband's term in office.

Mrs. Clinton reflected on her qualifications to be president in light of having won one election in her life to represent a state she had never lived in by saying "I can tell you this: It's very hard to stop people who have no shame about what they're doing."

In a statement sure to make for interesting dinner conversation at home she said, "There has never been an administration, I don't believe in our history, more intent upon consolidating and abusing power to further their own agenda."

She wistfully and poignantly characterized her own motivations by saying, "Some honestly believe they are motivated by the truth, they are motivated by a higher calling, they are motivated by, I guess, a direct line to the heavens."

When asked how she and her husband were able to get away with this behaviour, she laughed raucously and blamed the media. "It's shocking when you see how easily they fold in the media today," Mrs. Clinton said. "They don't stand their ground. If they're criticized by the White House, they just fall apart."

When asked to comment, a tight-lipped aid said, simply, "She was drunk."
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