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Drooling on the Pillow

Monday, February 28, 2005

Ready For My Closeup 

Or re-education camp. Powerline quotes a Zogby poll that says that only 13% of Republicans watched the Oscars. If you exclude Log Cabineers, then, I'm in a very small minority. Well, all I can say is, if they keep pumping out dreck like last night, it'll be a lot easier to break the habit.

I'm sure you've read that Chris Rock wasn't funny. Nothing can convey to you, though, just how not funny he was. Not even close to being funny. Mildly amusing was way, way over the horizon. He can be funny, I think. But why would you hire a guy and then tell him not to do any of the things he does? You could get a valet parker a lot cheaper and it wouldn't have made much difference. He did go off on Bush (I missed that part), but if it was as humorless and pointless as were the parts I did see, I can hardly imagine he laid a glove on W.

I look forward to the Oscars for the same reason I look forward to the office Christmas party. But if I go to the party and not one associate makes an ass of himself, not one partner throws up on his secretary's shoes, not one fight breaks out in the duplicating department, I'm disappointed.

Sean Penn was surly and soaked with self-regard but he held his tongue. Tim Robbins seemed a little confused (not 'confused' -- I think it was just the way he is), but held his tongue. Barbra Frickin' Streisand uttered not one despicable syllable. Not one obviously hammered presenter. Not one fondled extremity, not one wardrobe malfunction.

It might as well have been PBS. If that doesn't cure me, nothing will.
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