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Drooling on the Pillow

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Cracking a Cold One 

In the late seventies I was living in the Pacific Northwest. I was doing one-week stock in Helena, Montana and, in the winter, living mostly in Pullman, Washington, living off WSU co-eds. At the time you could not buy Coors beer in the state of Washington and Coors beer, therefore, was what your smart young Couger wanted to drink. At the time I was driving a 1953 Hudson (the loss of which was among the five dumbest things I've ever done (and that's saying something)) and one of my sources of income was driving the eight miles into Moscow, Idaho, filling the capacious trunk with Coors and selling the amber liquid to the Greeks on campus.

Coors is a decent beer. I've got no problem with Coors. In fact, Coors is one of the few beers you would have a hard time finding in Berkeley. It's a red state beer. The Coors family has a long standing reputation for conservative activism. It's a beer that pisses off the people it's a pleasure to piss off. So Coors is a good thing.

It's current ad campaign, on the other hand, is a bad thing. The coldest tasting beer? WTF? If you have ever, in your life, lifted a frosty, put it down and said, "Mmmm, that tasted cold," you win a life-time supply of Stroh's. A beaker of medical waste, left in the reefer for a few hours "tastes" cold. Cold is not a category of "taste". No more than brown, bubbly or liquidy. They're not trying to say that it has a uniquely wonderful taste when it is cold. All they're saying is that it tastes "cold", whatever that tastes like.

I love beer commercials. There's some great ones out there now. Please, someone, tell me there's a level of irony I'm being deaf to here. Please. I won't be embarassed.
Posted by: Sluggo / 7:11 PM
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