Drooling on the Pillow

Monday, June 14, 2004

Circling the Bowl I 

I believe I'll make this a regular feature because not many days go by without a story that makes me wish that the ethos and weltanschauung of The Strawberry Blond actually did exist at one time and that I lived there. I define my orientation as neo-libertarian which can be described as "The world is turning to crap and just leave me the hell alone about it."

The game at Camden Yards yesterday featured a real gem of modern life. Foul ball into the stands coming right down for an eight or nine year old boy. Ah, life. Ah Norman Rockwell. At the last moment a schlub from the row behind dives forward for the ball, knocking the kid away like a duckpin and begins rooting underneath the mother for the ball. Having retrieved his trophy he pushes the kid aside again and climbs back into his row. This is a big guy, maybe 220 or 240 somewhere around 30 years old. Not bad looking. Dressed like a twelve-year old, of course, but neat and clean. He starts to hear it from the crowd (he was really hearing it from the mother) and his response is to hold the ball aloft and pump his arms. I think he was really confused as to why everyone wasn't applauding his achievement. Now the director was as fascinated with this guy as I was and kept the camera on him. I assume they played the scene on the Jumbotron at the park because the entire crowd started chanting "give him the ball" and the look on this guys face was precious. A serene smirk. Even when another kid came over with a foul ball he caught and gave it to the first kid. Even when a ball player came up and gave the kid a bat. Even with 35,000 people united in their opinion of him, he was very comfortable with what he had done. I got the ball, man. Don't you get it? I got the ball.

Was I wrong to focus on the jerk instead of everyone else who still knew a jackass when they saw one? Of course, but I'm a Neo-libertarian. Leave me alone.
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