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Drooling on the Pillow

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Women are Dogs, Men are Morons. Al Gore . . . 

I have always been fascinated by women who are . . . I'll just say they aren't good looking . . . who exude sexual confidence. While confidence is proverbially sexy, and in truth it does go a long way, there are limits. There are those whose looks so far belie their transparent self-image as to make that dissonance pre-cognitive. I'm talking fat, bad skin, corrupt teeth, paint pealing odor and yet they catch your eye with a smug leer that says "Don't you wish?" Men, speaking as a confidence-challenged specimen, are less vulnerable in this arena than women and for this I'm grateful. But again, there are limits. For men, the comparable blind spot is morons that don't know they're morons.

Then there's Al Gore.

When the 2000 race began I was a George Bush guy, but my feeling was that Gore wouldn't be a disaster. I wasn't going to announce I was moving to Argentina if he won. A hawkish democrat, lifelong moderate on social issues, experienced, intelligent and hard working. So what if he sucks all the oxygen out of a room? We would survive.

By the end of the second debate I was ready to vote for Roseann Barr before I'd pull the lever for the guy. Refitting himself as William Jennings Bryan was bad enough. It was the crack that appeared down the front of his face and the unleashing of the Inner Al that put me off. It was as if he woke up one morning and thought "Who says I don't have charisma?" The Kiss. The clothes. Looming over Bush at the debates. Look out, voters, it's Alpha Al.

Here was the most affectless politician since Calvin Coolidge strutting around like Hans and Franz, playing his idea of a dynamic male. It was embarrassing to watch and a little disturbing to contemplate a man with so little awareness of himself in the Oval Office. The whole campaign was one long Nixon "Sock it to me!" moment.

I don't know what to think of him now. Maybe he figures he made such a jackass of himself he's stuck with Gore.2 for the rest of his life. Maybe its a late mid-life thing. Maybe he really believes he's a new man. I wish it didn't matter, but one way or another, he's going to be a player in 2008.
Posted by: Sluggo / 1:04 PM
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